she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
