something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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