You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
