do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
