why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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