i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
