wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
