its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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