wrigley field is MILF paradise
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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