I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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