Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize