apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How does one acquire holy water?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
