Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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