take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize