Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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