Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
