Your tits are I can't wait for
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
