I swear she didn't look like that last week.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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