I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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