She's JV to your varsity
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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