Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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