She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
