As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
