there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
