I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
