the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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