dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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