bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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