This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
