I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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