Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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