Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I am full of burrito and curiosity
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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