2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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