you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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