I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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