it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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