11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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