Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
