If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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