he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just gift wrapped bread.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
