but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
