i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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