the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
