okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
