i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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