i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
