I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
