I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
