I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
