is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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