exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize