that's an acceptable place to lick
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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