I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
