My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
how drunk are you?
Several
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
