Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
