Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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