these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
