I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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