tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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