she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
