The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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