I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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