i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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