Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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