How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
