....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
