You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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