Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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