I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
