Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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