By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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