garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
